Lessons learned

Lately, as I reflect back over the last six weeks, my thoughts wander toward the lessons I've learned in even such a short time. Of course, there are the daily lessons, such as learning not to put my "leaving the house" shirt on until I am literally leaving the house. I think Baby Law stipulates that should a mother foolishly dress completely before being ready to walk out the door, she will have to change outfits due to some sort of stain, typically of the spit-up variety. There are the many lessons related to diaper changes and little boys, swaddling lessons, feeding lessons and learning that finally purchasing a crib mobile means 18 uninterrupted minutes of productivity time.

These have all been valuable lessons, no doubt. But in the last few weeks, I feel that God has been teaching me some profound lessons about His nature. Specifically, about his parental nature. I'd always heard from other parents that "once you have a kid, you'll understand _______ (insert topic here)." I sort of rolled my eyes at this concept because I was the best parent I knew before actually having a kid. Now, I realize the truth in this idea, and in addition to feeling very humbled, I also rejoice because the Lord has really given me revelation in this learning process.

When Levi cries, my heart still breaks - I haven't become desensitized to this yet. There have been times that knowing he was crying because he was in pain or seriously unhappy resulted in my own tears. It was in one such moment of grief that God spoke gently, saying, "I, too, grieve when my children are in pain." I know that God is love, that He is good, but far too often, I forget that God has a nurturing nature.

There are still some things that Levi simply doesn't like, such as diaper changes. In the instances where we feed him a bottle, we stop halfway to let things settle and you would think, from the sounds coming out of such a tiny body, that this was torture. What I want him to understand is that we do these things for his good, even though they don't seem like it to him. Drinking is a very enjoyable thing for him, but drinking too much too fast will not have pleasant results. So, in his best interest, we interrupt him for a short time before letting him resume. What I'm continuing to realize through these situations is that sometimes, God is actually using the things that seem unpleasant for our good, for our benefit, even if we don't understand that.

Floyd McClung's book, The Father Heart of God, has some very profound insights about God's nature. Just as I've learned about parental aspects of God that I can relate to (in a very small way), in watching Gib with Levi, the concepts that McClung talks about come to life for me. The way that Gib looks at his son is enough to melt my heart, and I love the way he comes home from work full of anticipation to see his child. I don't think many things make this daddy happier than having his baby boy fall asleep in his arms or flash a grin at him during "play time." How much more, then, must God love it when we run to His embrace, when we smile with thanksgiving at who He is and the things He does, when we rest in Him.

I welcome the lessons I know that are to come and am so grateful for the things God has already revealed to me through the life of Levi Blaze.

(Tie onesie courtesy of Aunt Leigh - it's Levi's church attire!)