Imagine.
Imagine the seediness. The dark corners of the bars, illuminated only by the contrasting harsh, fluorescent lighting in blue, pink, red. The heavy beat of the dance music, thumping in the rhythm of a heartbeat yet without any heart behind it at all.
Imagine the leering eyes of passers-by, sizing up each place, and specifically each woman within that place. Men with wedding rings and men without wedding rings but with tan lines that indicate their presence only moments before devour the scantily clad bodies before them with their eyes in a matter of seconds. Old white men, young white men, middle-age Asian men, and even couples of all ages, scouring each establishment to see which meets their criteria. Pretty enough? Young enough? Easy enough? Cheap enough?
Consider the stares, the judgment of those who've come to see this spectacle without any intent to purchase, whose curiosity fuels the lust behind those looks. The clean-cut teenaged boy staying in a hotel just down the block, who probably told his parents he was running to the 7-11 for a coke, can't help but glance inconspicuously, longingly, as he passes by. Except it isn't inconspicuous at all. Only in his mind and in his conscience.
But this isn't just a place of voyeurism. Imagine the feeling in the pit of the stomach when that old, overweight man with the grabby hands actually comes into the establishment. Or maybe it's the handsome younger man with a steely look that conveys his true heartlessness and the determination to get what he wants on demand. Imagine the internal struggle, the agony on the inside masked by the bright, seductive smile on the outside. The smile is automatic now, no longer having to be prompted by the boss to be more friendly, more seductive, more enticing. That lesson was learned the hard way.
Imagine the thoughts that run through the mind throughout the duration of the drinks, or maybe dinner, through the cheap small talk. What comes next is inevitable, and yet the client has to be placated by feigned interest in his life. The dread only grows stronger as the minutes count down, as the last bites are taken. Yet through the dread, the flirtation and the come-hither eyes are second nature now. The deal must be sealed, after all.
Imagine that you were lured to this city, the promise of a job in retail or a restaurant providing enough motivation to leave your village, your refugee camp, your impoverished life. Parental expectations of financial support for survival, and the weight of responsibility for multiple younger siblings, perhaps made these empty promises seem like the only way to make the family proud. But, shortly after arrival, the realization comes that no such job exists. Physical brokenness awaits at the hands of a cruel new boss, and a new reality begins. Someone's property now, with a transportation debt so high and threats against family back home so convincing that escape seems impossible. Maybe it actually is impossible.
Or, maybe it was a willing choice to be here. In the beginning, at least. Maybe entering this lifestyle happened purposefully, with a steady income to be had and the illusion of finding a wealthy man to marry enough of a mirage to look past the stench of the back room that would become a permanent fixture in life. That man of dreams? Sure, many men have come and gone for the past 15 years, but no marriage proposals. Only business transactions, sometimes resulting in a child that would, out of necessity, go to live with its grandparents. The logistics of life in the red light district aren't exactly conducive to child-rearing.
In the end, the circumstances by which this lifestyle was entered are less important than the now. Now is the reality that one's economical value is determined by client after client, night after night, month after month, year after year. That one's self-worth deteriorates each time her body is exploited, taken advantage of. It's a consumer-driven business and her needs, her protection, her dignity, her dreams… well, they don't exactly count. For the price of a fast-food dinner in the States, she is forced to surrender again, and again, and again, and again. No holidays, no sick days, and certainly no vacation or benefits package.
And while the physical aspects of the job are by no means pleasant, just as ugly are the knowing looks from shopkeepers, tourists, religious organizations. Those looks speak volumes. The clients don't make one feel beautiful or loved or valued in any way, but the pariah status speaks directly to the heart. No value in your life. No purpose, no worth, no hope, no future. Unredeemable trash.
Just imagine.
Friends, this bleak reality is exactly that - a reality for millions of women and children around the world. In Thailand, where prostitution is illegal, the country is estimated to have 2.8 million prostitutes, with 800,000 of those being children. Red light districts appear in every major city, and victims there are forced into slavery… or they entered willingly but are now trapped. These women have captured my heart because they have captured the heart of Jesus. They don't know Him, not yet, but He knows them. He's known them from the beginning of time. He loves them. He weeps with them. He has plans for them, purpose and a future for them. There IS hope for their lives.
Even here, in Oklahoma, prostitution exists and yes, even the trafficking of women and children. How can we attune ourselves to the heartbeat of God for these women? Instead of making snap judgements or jumping to conclusions, we can choose to see them as He does… as beautiful, valuable, fragile. Just as He invited us into community with Him, we can reach out and do the same for these women. And in doing so, we can change the world.
Saturday, October 13, 2012
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Rocking with my kiddos
It's late at night, so late that it's actually the beginning of a new day, when I hear the cries coming from next door. Nothing interrupts my toddler's sleep cycle like hardcore teething. I wait a few minutes to see if he's really awake or just momentarily disturbed, when I realize that the cries are only escalating.
As I roll out of bed, I'm not the least bit irritated, strangely. There aren't many things that could wake me up in the middle of the night with such a peaceful feeling, but this kiddo is one of them. I open the door to see a disoriented little boy, standing in his crib, his arms up.
"Mamaaaaa," he cries. As soon as I pick him up, he points to the rocker in the corner. "Chair," he says. He may have been abruptly awakened from his sleep, but this kid knows what he wants.
I sit down, and we begin to rock. He puts his head on my shoulder, and I can feel the drool already starting to seep through my shirt. If I wasn't certain that teething was the sleep culprit before, I am now.
"Ay yah," he says, indicating he wants me to sing to him. Ay yah is the chorus of his favorite song, and he associates it with singing in general. Sometimes I have to go through the first lines of a few songs before finding one he likes. I know I've arrived there when he stops making the "UH" sound a few bars in.
As I rock and sing, with his little body lying against mine in complete relaxation, I feel my other little baby start to wake up and kick and punch. There we are, the three of us, rocking in the dark.
I'm thankful for countless things in my life, but this moment ushers in a feeling of thankfulness like no other. I realize that in just a few months, I won't be able to rock both of my kids together in such a peaceful environment. Kids. The fact that I am a mom to one precious, fiery little boy is a gift I'm in awe of each and every day, but kids, plural? I never knew that reality could bring so much joy.
It may be 3 a.m., but I couldn't be more thankful to be awake.
As I roll out of bed, I'm not the least bit irritated, strangely. There aren't many things that could wake me up in the middle of the night with such a peaceful feeling, but this kiddo is one of them. I open the door to see a disoriented little boy, standing in his crib, his arms up.
"Mamaaaaa," he cries. As soon as I pick him up, he points to the rocker in the corner. "Chair," he says. He may have been abruptly awakened from his sleep, but this kid knows what he wants.
I sit down, and we begin to rock. He puts his head on my shoulder, and I can feel the drool already starting to seep through my shirt. If I wasn't certain that teething was the sleep culprit before, I am now.
"Ay yah," he says, indicating he wants me to sing to him. Ay yah is the chorus of his favorite song, and he associates it with singing in general. Sometimes I have to go through the first lines of a few songs before finding one he likes. I know I've arrived there when he stops making the "UH" sound a few bars in.
As I rock and sing, with his little body lying against mine in complete relaxation, I feel my other little baby start to wake up and kick and punch. There we are, the three of us, rocking in the dark.
I'm thankful for countless things in my life, but this moment ushers in a feeling of thankfulness like no other. I realize that in just a few months, I won't be able to rock both of my kids together in such a peaceful environment. Kids. The fact that I am a mom to one precious, fiery little boy is a gift I'm in awe of each and every day, but kids, plural? I never knew that reality could bring so much joy.
It may be 3 a.m., but I couldn't be more thankful to be awake.
Thailand photos
As you might imagine, with all of our photos combined, the number is well into the thousands. Here are a few that encompass many aspects of our trip:
We're HERE!
Agape House, an AIDS orphanage:
Gib spent time with this little boy last year, and it was fun for him to see how much this little guy had grown!
We spent two days each way driving through one of the most curvy mountain roads in the world on our way to/from the refugee camp. The first photo is as we are getting ready to leave. The second is a bathroom stop a few hours down the road. Distraction was key to forgetting about the fact that we had several hours ahead of us!
While the drive wasn't exactly enjoyable physically, it afforded us the opportunity to see some of the most beautiful parts of the country:
Halfway through the marathon drive, we surprised the team with elephant rides!
Refugee camp on the Burmese border:
A child's artistic creation depicting heaven.
Praying over these beautiful children
I spent time with her last year, and it brought so much joy to my heart to see her again!
Praying over a teacher in the area who hadn't been hugged in more than a year. It's not a cultural norm to hug, and our ladies were able to love on her.
Hannah House:
Meal with members of the local church:
On our way to Doi Suthep, a large temple overlooking the city:
One evening, we gave the team a few hours of free time to explore the market. When we walked by them unexpectedly, this is what we found: the group praying for a vendor.
On our last day in-country, we spent time at this waterfall to reflect on everything we'd experienced:
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
The funny side of travel
We had countless moments of intense laughter over the course of our trip. Some of the situations were just plain funny, while others had lessons to be learned hidden within. We're so thankful to have been with a group of people who weren't afraid to laugh… at themselves, at us, and at the inevitably funny things that happen on overseas trips:
- In the chaos of getting multiple people and multiple bags on a plane, amidst a sea of military personnel traveling somewhere en masse, our bag didn't make it to the counter. That's right - as leaders of a team, our suitcase, full of clothes and toiletries and chargers and shoes, did not travel to Thailand. Instead, it sat in the middle of the airport until some gracious friends of ours drove back to retrieve it. We realized it as soon as we got to Los Angeles. Fortunately, we'd packed some underwear in our carry-ons and had just enough time to make a mad dash to a nearby LA Target to grab some shirts and pants/skirts/shorts that we hoped would fit. Lesson learned: we didn't need as much stuff on this trip as we thought we did! It would have been nice to have had our contacts with us, and not appear in the same shirts in about every photo, but it was actually pretty liberating to travel so simply.
- Another team member forgot a suitcase, as well, but realized it in time for it to arrive prior to take-off. Wow, these early morning flights have a way of wreaking havoc!
- One team member, seated in the Buddhist temple we visited, was having meaningful time with the Lord, praying and worshiping… when the man in front of her broke wind right in her face!
- Two team members fell into rivers (one was bucked off of an elephant)!
- One team member initially thought that a man in the Red Light area was coming to our table to solicit her services, misheard his innocent question about her t-shirt, and emphatically began saying, "NO, NO, NO" to him!
- One team member, after riding for several hours on curvy mountain roads, informed the driver that we needed to pull over. I got the cue and jumped out of her way instantly (I also had the benefit of sitting right next to the door) - the other team members didn't move so quickly and thus were the recipients of her… shall we say… gift of lunch. While certainly not initially pleasant, the group of us, standing on the side of a mountain highway, cleaning off/throwing away clothes, recovering from the shock of the situation, was pretty laughable. And laugh we did!
- One team leader (hint: not me!), when introducing our team to a crowd of about 100 people, went down the line, introducing our team, until he arrived at one team member and proceeded to blank on her name. Ha!
I'm thankful for these moments - I dare say they'll stay captured in our memories just as long as the more poignant stories will.
- In the chaos of getting multiple people and multiple bags on a plane, amidst a sea of military personnel traveling somewhere en masse, our bag didn't make it to the counter. That's right - as leaders of a team, our suitcase, full of clothes and toiletries and chargers and shoes, did not travel to Thailand. Instead, it sat in the middle of the airport until some gracious friends of ours drove back to retrieve it. We realized it as soon as we got to Los Angeles. Fortunately, we'd packed some underwear in our carry-ons and had just enough time to make a mad dash to a nearby LA Target to grab some shirts and pants/skirts/shorts that we hoped would fit. Lesson learned: we didn't need as much stuff on this trip as we thought we did! It would have been nice to have had our contacts with us, and not appear in the same shirts in about every photo, but it was actually pretty liberating to travel so simply.
- Another team member forgot a suitcase, as well, but realized it in time for it to arrive prior to take-off. Wow, these early morning flights have a way of wreaking havoc!
- One team member, seated in the Buddhist temple we visited, was having meaningful time with the Lord, praying and worshiping… when the man in front of her broke wind right in her face!
- Two team members fell into rivers (one was bucked off of an elephant)!
- One team member initially thought that a man in the Red Light area was coming to our table to solicit her services, misheard his innocent question about her t-shirt, and emphatically began saying, "NO, NO, NO" to him!
- One team member, after riding for several hours on curvy mountain roads, informed the driver that we needed to pull over. I got the cue and jumped out of her way instantly (I also had the benefit of sitting right next to the door) - the other team members didn't move so quickly and thus were the recipients of her… shall we say… gift of lunch. While certainly not initially pleasant, the group of us, standing on the side of a mountain highway, cleaning off/throwing away clothes, recovering from the shock of the situation, was pretty laughable. And laugh we did!
- One team leader (hint: not me!), when introducing our team to a crowd of about 100 people, went down the line, introducing our team, until he arrived at one team member and proceeded to blank on her name. Ha!
I'm thankful for these moments - I dare say they'll stay captured in our memories just as long as the more poignant stories will.
Thailand recap
My blog timeline can't be right, can it? Has it been more than a month since my last post?! Apparently so. I can hardly believe that October begins in just a few days!
We've spent the last few weeks talking about and reflecting on our time in Thailand and relishing every moment with our little dude. Two weeks away wasn't an eternity by any means, but I missed my little wonder. I think I returned even more thankful for him, although I didn't know that could be possible. We've had to work through a bit of toddler separation anxiety, but as Grammy and Grandy took excellent care of him, we came home to a happy little ball of fire, which is just how we left him.
It just isn't possible to put into words how meaningful and adventurous and fun our time in Thailand was this summer. There are so many stories to tell! And while a brief recap below won't do them justice, it will hopefully convey that this trip was life-changing.
A few of the trip highlights:
- Two ladies on our team ventured out for a shopping trip during a few hours of down time on our second day in-country. Ducking out of the rain, they stepped into the shop of an Indian Muslim man… who used to live in Norman… who does business in Norman… and who wanted to know about Jesus. WHOA. They spent considerable time with him, answering his questions, praying for him, and inviting him to church - because he'll be back here later this fall! This story was so much fun.
- Gib stepped into a woman's house, and the woman's mother excitedly relayed that she had recently had a dream that a group of foreigners came to her house, and that Gib was one of them. How fun is that!
- Two members of our team spent time with a very new believer, who, after realizing that her idols to Buddha in her home needed to go, took down every idol in her house and sent them with the ladies to dispose of.
- An elderly Thai man's arthritic hands were healed after two girls on our team, as well as a translator from the local church, prayed with him and shared the gospel. He was incredulous that he could suddenly bend his hands in ways he previously hadn't been able to and accepted the gospel of Jesus.
- The ladies on our team spent several nights out in the Red Light area of our city, building relationships with sex workers in two different bars. Each night with them allowed us to go deeper with them and just show them love in ways they weren't used to. I hope to do a more in-depth post on this experience. On our last night with them, we had translators from the local church (who were both new believers themselves), who told them about the love of Jesus for them. In one bar, three of the sex workers said they wanted to meet again with their translator to know more. In the second bar, a group of workers asked to go to church, surprised that they would be allowed in such a place.
- Gib and I marveled in the kindness and faithfulness and power of God each and every day. We watched as each member of our team had incredible breakthrough in an individual, and often unexpected, way. Some team members' hearts broke for the refugee children and AIDS orphans; some experienced the power of the Holy Spirit when they were asked to speak with little or no warning; some overcame physical obstacles; some who had never before spoken to a prostitute left with a deep love and compassion for the prostitutes in the city. We experienced a group of nine people functioning as the Body of Christ. It was amazing and unlike anything we'd ever known before. Our faith is stirred. Wow. Thank you, God.
These are just a few of the stories from our trip! I'll do a separate post with lots of photos. Thank you so much to each and every one of you who encouraged us, supported us, prayed for us, rejoiced with us and helped us get to/from Thailand.
We've spent the last few weeks talking about and reflecting on our time in Thailand and relishing every moment with our little dude. Two weeks away wasn't an eternity by any means, but I missed my little wonder. I think I returned even more thankful for him, although I didn't know that could be possible. We've had to work through a bit of toddler separation anxiety, but as Grammy and Grandy took excellent care of him, we came home to a happy little ball of fire, which is just how we left him.
It just isn't possible to put into words how meaningful and adventurous and fun our time in Thailand was this summer. There are so many stories to tell! And while a brief recap below won't do them justice, it will hopefully convey that this trip was life-changing.
A few of the trip highlights:
- Two ladies on our team ventured out for a shopping trip during a few hours of down time on our second day in-country. Ducking out of the rain, they stepped into the shop of an Indian Muslim man… who used to live in Norman… who does business in Norman… and who wanted to know about Jesus. WHOA. They spent considerable time with him, answering his questions, praying for him, and inviting him to church - because he'll be back here later this fall! This story was so much fun.
- Gib stepped into a woman's house, and the woman's mother excitedly relayed that she had recently had a dream that a group of foreigners came to her house, and that Gib was one of them. How fun is that!
- Two members of our team spent time with a very new believer, who, after realizing that her idols to Buddha in her home needed to go, took down every idol in her house and sent them with the ladies to dispose of.
- An elderly Thai man's arthritic hands were healed after two girls on our team, as well as a translator from the local church, prayed with him and shared the gospel. He was incredulous that he could suddenly bend his hands in ways he previously hadn't been able to and accepted the gospel of Jesus.
- The ladies on our team spent several nights out in the Red Light area of our city, building relationships with sex workers in two different bars. Each night with them allowed us to go deeper with them and just show them love in ways they weren't used to. I hope to do a more in-depth post on this experience. On our last night with them, we had translators from the local church (who were both new believers themselves), who told them about the love of Jesus for them. In one bar, three of the sex workers said they wanted to meet again with their translator to know more. In the second bar, a group of workers asked to go to church, surprised that they would be allowed in such a place.
- Gib and I marveled in the kindness and faithfulness and power of God each and every day. We watched as each member of our team had incredible breakthrough in an individual, and often unexpected, way. Some team members' hearts broke for the refugee children and AIDS orphans; some experienced the power of the Holy Spirit when they were asked to speak with little or no warning; some overcame physical obstacles; some who had never before spoken to a prostitute left with a deep love and compassion for the prostitutes in the city. We experienced a group of nine people functioning as the Body of Christ. It was amazing and unlike anything we'd ever known before. Our faith is stirred. Wow. Thank you, God.
These are just a few of the stories from our trip! I'll do a separate post with lots of photos. Thank you so much to each and every one of you who encouraged us, supported us, prayed for us, rejoiced with us and helped us get to/from Thailand.
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Home
At approximately 5 a.m. Saturday morning, U.S. time, we boarded our first flight headed home. On Monday morning at 2 a.m., Gib and I fell into the comfort of our own bed, having returned to the best welcome home party at the airport and a spotless apartment, courtesy of our friends. I already knew that we had the best friends in the world, but they still surprised us with both of these acts.
Monday morning at 10:15 a.m., we arrived at my parents' house to see the smiling face of our boy for the first time in 2.5 weeks. It felt surreal, seeing that smile in person, hearing him say all of the new words he's learned in the last two weeks and actually getting to hold my boy. It was one sweet reunion!
To say that we had a great trip is both true and a huge understatement. We can't wait to share some of the highlights, but for now, we are enjoying time with our little dude and the trip processing process together… and trying to adjust our sleep schedules!
Here's a pic of our team on one of the most beautiful roads in northern Thailand:
Monday morning at 10:15 a.m., we arrived at my parents' house to see the smiling face of our boy for the first time in 2.5 weeks. It felt surreal, seeing that smile in person, hearing him say all of the new words he's learned in the last two weeks and actually getting to hold my boy. It was one sweet reunion!
To say that we had a great trip is both true and a huge understatement. We can't wait to share some of the highlights, but for now, we are enjoying time with our little dude and the trip processing process together… and trying to adjust our sleep schedules!
Here's a pic of our team on one of the most beautiful roads in northern Thailand:
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Trivia
Question: At our apartment complex, when the temperature outside reaches 110 degrees, the following happens:
A. An angel gets its wings
B. Lauren goes for a jog
C. The air conditioning goes out
D. Gib bursts into song
If you guessed C, you would unfortunately be correct. It's an unending adventure… some of the adventures more pleasant than others! Here's hoping each of you is staying cool in this crazy heat.
A. An angel gets its wings
B. Lauren goes for a jog
C. The air conditioning goes out
D. Gib bursts into song
If you guessed C, you would unfortunately be correct. It's an unending adventure… some of the adventures more pleasant than others! Here's hoping each of you is staying cool in this crazy heat.
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