Toddler phrases

Levi's vocabulary is just one of the many reminders for his mama of how quickly he is growing up. He has an impressive memory and can remember names and faces of people he knows well and those he's only met once. Just shy of his second birthday, he knows the alphabet, can count to ten, and knows most of his colors. He can effortlessly go through books at his grandparents' house and list off the items he sees: rice, tambourine, balloon fish, orca, bird's nest, lobster, etc. He is a sponge, listening to conversations around him and those held with him and picking up new words and phrases every day. I am in awe of his smarts! But, I'm also a little sad that recently, "mama" has become "mommy," "monk-me" has become "monkey" and "two-ah" has been correctly simplified to "two." Sigh. My little dude really is growing up!

While most of the things that come out of his mouth either impress me or make me laugh (or both) because they are adorable, there are two things he's learned that never fail to make me laugh out loud. Both were learned while with Mimi and Didi, and I don't think Mimi realized the impact her lessons would have on an adorable little toddler.

The first phrase: "Tell Mimi I shoo-shoo." This means exactly what it sounds like, except typing the words doesn't even come close to describing how precious and hilarious they are coming out of his mouth. He uses the phrase correctly, but has also figured out that using it at bed time means a delayed routine as his diaper is checked once again. Smart little guy. :)

The second phrase: "Get up, Didi." This phrase is expressed emphatically when he thinks it's time for his Didi to wake up in the morning, and this weekend, he altered it for his Uncle J.J., who was here visiting. "Get up, J.J., get up." So stinkin' cute!

And while this is nonverbal, one of my favorite things he's begun doing is directing the choir. He loves watching the choir at Mimi's and Didi's church, and he imitates the director's actions. He sways to the music, and then up go the hands. I was able to catch him in action this weekend while posing for a picture with his Aunt Leigh!

Nathanael Oak

Gib and I absolutely love the process of naming our children. For us, it's less about our favorite names at the moment and more about waiting together, praying together and talking about the identity we want to bestow upon our kids. We also believe, and it's been our experience, that our God is a very personal God who speaks to our hearts, and so an important part of our naming process is listening to what we feel like He is saying about the names. That may sound strange to some people, but it's become so normal for us.

With Levi Blaze, it's been a blast to watch his personality develop and be such a reflection of his name. We waited several hours after his birth to name him, and Levi Blaze was the clear choice for us. We love it, and I can't imagine him with any other name.

But, as pregnancies are different and kids are different, the naming process this time around was also very different.

Nathanael's naming process actually began before we were pregnant and came very unexpectedly! I have a note in my phone that I love to go back and reference, and it's dated January 15, 2012 at 11:13 a.m. I was sitting in a church service at my parents' church, and to be honest, I had sort of tuned out. Gib had taken Levi, who was almost one year old, out into the hall to sing him to sleep, and my mind started to wander just as the sermon was beginning.

As the pastor began speaking on John 1:43, my attention somehow refocused, and I felt the story come alive as only God can do with His word. John 1:47-51:

Jesus saw Nathanael coming toward him and said of him, "Behold, an Israelite indeed, in whom there is no deceit!" Nathanael said to him, "How do you know me?" Jesus answered him, "Before Philip called you, when you were under the fig tree, I saw you."

Nathanael answered him, "Rabbi, you are the Son of God! You are the King of Israel!" Jesus answered him, "Because I said to you, 'I saw you under the fig tree,' do you believe? You will see greater things than these." 

And he said to him, "Truly, truly, I say to you, you will see heaven opened, and the angels of God ascending and descending on the Son of Man."

Wow. What a powerful scene. The faith of Nathanael, the way Jesus sees him, and Jesus' promise for him.

I sat in awe reflecting on this Scripture, somewhat puzzled about why these verses had captured my heart as they had, when I felt like the Lord was speaking to my heart very clearly. And though it sounded bizarre at the time, I felt with complete confidence that what He was saying was that Gib and I would have a Nathanael.

Wow.

I remember getting up to go find Gib out in the hallway to tell him, and I love his matter-of-factness. His reaction? "Ok!" And so it was, that if we were to have another child, and that child was a boy, he would be Nathanael.

The meaning of Nathanael is "God has given," which we love.

Nathanael's middle name came about from Gib. Isaiah 61 has been a cornerstone verse for us this year. It's been a part of Scripture that we've meditated on, prayed aloud, and talked about. The words themselves are powerful and beautifully written, and we've had some incredible spiritual and emotional revelation in reading this chapter countless times:

The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives… to grant to those who mourn in Zion -- to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified. (emphasis mine)

When Gib suggested Oak as a middle name, we loved the meaning of this Scripture, as well as the physical associations we have with an oak tree - strength, sturdiness, with healthy roots firmly planted by streams of water, as described in Psalm 1:1.

In addition, an incredibly powerful story for me is the story of David and Goliath, found in 1 Samuel 17. David, the man described as being after God's heart, whom God anoints as king much to his family's surprise, defeats Goliath in the Valley of Elah. The meaning of the Valley of Elah is "valley of the oak."

Nathanael Oak: God has given, a man of faith and without deceit who will see greater things, a strong oak, a place of victory, a promise of transformation for others through righteousness. We already stand amazed at this perfect little boy God has given us, and we wait expectantly and excitedly to see what the Lord has in store for him!

12/21/12

I know it sounds ridiculous to say that I have a favorite number, but I do, and that number is 21. The reverse of that number is 12, which happens to be my birthday as well, making it my second favorite number. I know, I know, it's silly, but I can't help it. I love those two numbers. So when our sweet little son was born 12/21/12, I had to smile. The kindness of God.

But, the kindness of God in this birthing experience goes waaaaay beyond numbers. If I could pinpoint one revelation God has revealed to me through the last few weeks, it would be His kindness. I've seen  that blessings come in unexpected ways and that though  a current situation may initially look bleak, it can in fact be glorious and full of hope.

Our birth story for Nathanael has changed my life, just as Levi's story did almost two years ago. Both are poignant and meaningful and incredible, yet very different. Just as with Levi, we didn't find out if we were having a boy or a girl until the delivery. We love the surprise! As we waited to see whether Levi would have a baby brother or sister, we prayed over this little one and over the labor experience. It wasn't any secret that we wanted to try for a VBAC and avoid a second c-section, and had God not already known that desire of my heart, I verbally mentioned it to Him enough that He most certainly got the point.

Over the last few months, we've received some amazing words of prayer and encouragement for baby Shofar that really stirred our hearts. A man within our church's global organization prayed over us this fall, not knowing anything about us, and specifically declared that this birth would be uncomplicated, with no fear, and that any bad experience from the past would have no bearing on this birth. WOW, I thought. Helloooooo, confirmation. Natural labor, here I come.

As I approached my due date, several friends began individually sending me Isaiah 40 references, and I began seeing that Scripture everywhere… it was even mentioned in the sermon our pastor preached the Sunday before Nathanael was born. Each time I read the verses of Isaiah 40, different parts would come alive for me and really encourage me. Yet my prayer continued to be, Lord, please just put me into labor. You know I don't want to undergo another surgery. 

As the days inched closer to our "if-not-in-labor-let's-have-surgery-day," I thanked the Lord that He would turn my mourning into dancing, and I felt His interruption, speaking to my heart, gently telling me that I had nothing to mourn. That was all of the wake-up call that I needed.

A good friend of mine prayed over me on the Sunday before I delivered that I would have the Shalom Peace of Jesus in this situation, that I would stand on the promises that I felt God had given us. As our set surgery date loomed, I began resolving that while I hoped I would go into labor, I needed to be at peace if a c-section was necessary. And on Thursday, God was so kind to really pour that peace over me. I went to bed feeling no anxiety, and instead being excited to meet our newest family member.

At 2:00 a.m., Levi woke up with a fever, and as I rocked him back to sleep, I felt something. And then another something. And another. Contractions! Whoa! Hallelujah! I truly rejoiced with each one of them, and as I thanked the Lord, again He spoke to my heart with one word: Watch.

Although the contractions continued, we decided to go ahead and drive to the hospital for our scheduled 6 a.m. arrival for surgery. The drive was exciting, as we had no idea what was about to happen. When we arrived, my midwife (thankfully recovered from her illness!) was encouraged by our report; however, when she checked me, she found that the baby was still positioned high in my pelvis.

After talking and praying, we both felt that proceeding with surgery was the right decision. Looking back, we firmly believe that God let us experience a part of labor together before confirming that surgery was the right choice.

I realize how strange it sounds to say that we had an amazing surgery, but that's the only way I can describe it. We actually had the same surgical team who delivered Levi, and they were wonderful. I had no nervousness in the operating room, and when I heard our sweet baby cry, and Gib announced, "it's a boy!", I was overjoyed. Brothers! I exclaimed. My heart soared.

With Levi's birth, he had needed some medical attention after delivery to get the fluid out of his lungs, so I wasn't able to hold him immediately, but with Nathanael, our midwife placed him on my chest all fresh and gooey (!). As soon as he felt my chest, he stopped crying and burrowed into me, while Gib trimmed the cord. To say those first moments were sweet is both a reality and also a huge understatement. I will savor those moments forever. The kindness of God.

My recovery from surgery has been incredibly smooth and when I look back to the promises I stood upon for this delivery, I see that God fulfilled every one of them, just in unexpected ways: it was uncomplicated, I had no fear, I experienced His unseen grace and peace, and the words of Isaiah 40 are forever woven together as part of our birth story. And the desires to experience some labor at home, to be able to hold my baby immediately, for nursing to be seamless… each one of those was given to me.

While I am extremely grateful that surgery was available for Levi, it was hard for me physically and emotionally. True to his name, Levi Blaze "blazed" many a parenthood trail for his little brother, and in many ways he has already made life easier for Nathanael. What a good big brother. :) With my second c-section, the Lord has redeemed surgery for me. He's given it beauty and life.

Just as I'm reminded of God's goodness and blessing every time I look into Levi Blaze's bright blue eyes, Nathanael will also be a reminder of the kindness and tenderness of the Father.

Welcome to our family, Nathanael Oak. We already can't get enough of you!

Shout-Out

Today, I had my first dose of being the parent of two children. I'm still reflecting in thankfulness at the  teamwork between Gib and my parents.

Apparently, when you have a little one in the midst of the Christmas holiday, it isn't particularly easy to get a newborn wellness appointment booked with your pediatrician, who has his own holiday plans. And then, when you have a 23-month old who has been sick for more than a week, who needs his own appointment with this same pediatrician, but not an appointment at the same time as your newborn because he has yet to meet his little brother (and that initial meeting is NOT taking place in an exam room!), let's just say that the receptionist/scheduler isn't your biggest fan.

After several phone calls made between the doctor's office and my parents, it worked out and both of my little boys had their time with the doctor.

But, this isn't really a post about the doctor's office, so let me get to the point. To state it succinctly, my parents are saints. Today, they drove an hour and a half each way to get Levi to the doctor. For the past 11 days, they've kept our eldest little dude, with him being sick eight of those days, and as a result, none of them getting much sleep. They made us a roast this week. And, while they got a quick glimpse of our youngest little dude following his arrival, neither of them got to hold him until this week because we all agreed that keeping a sick little boy at their house was probably best.

Mimi and Didi, we are so thankful for you. I honestly don't know what we would have done without you in the last few weeks. Thank you for loving our boys so well and for loving their parents so well, too. As the saying goes, it takes a village to raise a child. I couldn't be more grateful that you are such prominent members of that village.

Introducing...

We are thrilled to announce the arrival of our second precious son, Nathanael Oak! We are joyful beyond measure and have thoroughly enjoyed the last few days spent bonding with this new little life. More details to come, but we couldn't wait to post a few pics!

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas! I love driving around and seeing Christmas lights on houses and Christmas trees festively decorated, and today it's cold enough to see my breath in the air, which finally means it feels like December!

We've been singing Christmas carols with Levi for the last few weeks, and he knows them well enough  to request them by name. This is the first Christmas that he's realizing something special is happening - he loves Christmas ornaments and lights on trees, our rolls of wrapping paper, his Christmas book about the birth of Jesus, and even the word "Christmas."

I'm beginning to look a bit more like Christmas, too! With my due date just days before the actual holiday, the appearance of my stomach is an excellent indicator that our little Shofar baby's arrival is coming any day!

Christmas is always a fun time of year, but this year, the weeks leading up to it have been particularly enjoyable, as we watch our sweet toddler delight in what's happening around him and as we continue to grow in excitement at the thought of meeting our second child. So, so fun!

Gib's immediate family came to visit this weekend so that we could celebrate an early Christmas together. It was a short trip, but we loved getting to spend time with them, and Levi loved getting to see his Papa, Grandma, Uncle Brian and Aunt Kim. And, he loved getting to open his presents! Here are some snapshots from our Park Family Christmas:

The whole gang

A long-time family friend up-cycled several things to make a tractor/trailer set!

Sharing a snack

Such a fun weekend!

Absence

I realize I've been lacking in my blog updates for the last few weeks. I wish I could say it was because we were off on a tropical adventure. The reality is that in the last month and a half, Gib had an emergency appendectomy, Levi was accidentally hit by a woman on a bicycle outside of our apartment, faced a bout with hand, foot and mouth virus (not a serious virus, but makes for an irritable toddler), sprained an ankle, and currently has the stomach flu.

Hello, adventure! Just not adventure of the tropical vacation kind.

I'm currently less than three weeks from my due date with our sweet little one, and I've been working to finish my research paper for class, get things organized and keep up with my boys!

It's been a bit of a crazy fall, but it's made me even more thankful for our wonderful friends and family, and the fact that I have two incredible guys here with me. Gibster has been taking good care of our family, even during his own recovery, and our little dude keeps us entertained while consistently melting our hearts.

And, we've had some really great moments, along with the less pleasant health issues. Levi loves singing Christmas carols, is learning to count to ten, and continues to amaze us with his memory and vocabulary. He's also become quite the fan taking his Flintstone vitamins.

I took a monthlong challenge of not eating out, and instead cooking every meal for our family. It was hard, especially living in a city that offers many delicious choices that are more convenient than dirtying dishes, but I learned some fun new recipes, and I thoroughly enjoyed knowing that our evenings would be spent together, eating healthy meals. And while we have eaten out since then, the challenge did motivate me to cook a lot more, which I love.

Gib now works one day a week at home, and while he does actually work during the day (truly!), it's nice to have him here for lunch, and Levi loves waking up knowing that his dada is out in the living room. Gib and one of his good friends also just completed an amazing construction project for a new piece of living room furniture for us. I am thoroughly impressed with the end result, and I know they had a lot of fun doing it.

So that's our fall in a nutshell!

Hoping everyone's Thanksgiving was enjoyable and that the remainder of 2012 is memorable in the most wonderful ways!

21 months!

Levi BLAZE!
I had to capitalize your last name because, in the last few days, when we greet you with Levi Blaze, you smile and repeat, "Blaaaaaze." I think you know that you are our little Blazer, full of energy and spunk.

Last week, as we were driving to the zoo, I noticed the signs posted as we neared one of our favorite places: Now entering the Adventure District. I smiled and realized how appropriate that sentiment was for life with you. Every day is a day in our own adventure district, and ooooooh how I wouldn't trade that for anything.

I realized, in going back and reading through some of my old blog post commemorating your monthly birthday milestones, that some of them… ok, many of them… are pretty sappy. I'm laughing now just thinking about that, but the truth is, I can't help it. I am so crazy in love with my little boy that you bring out the gushing adoration in me.

Your dada and I love continuing to watch you come into your own personality. One of my favorite sounds, and it happens a lot, is the sound of your dad laughing. Now, your dad's laugh is one thing I fell in love with in the very beginning, and now, that laugh is often a result of something you've just done. Soaking him during bathtime, squirming while he tries to dress you, or when he's giving you "goosies."

I love the bond that you and your dad share. There's nothing like watching my two boys together. You ask for him throughout the day, and as soon as you hear him come in the door after work, you run to make sure it's him, pause, and then take off toward your room, a mischievous glint in your eye, beckoning him to chase you. He never fails to take off after you, and the two of you laugh and laugh.

You've learned, from an early age, how fun your dad is. I am still learning how creative that man is. Today, for example, you were incredibly frustrated that "pump" (your pumpkin) would not stay on your lawnmower for a ride. It got to the point that I was ready to take the pumpkin outside for a little break, to focus on something else for a while. But as I was finishing up cooking breakfast, I heard the two of you talking about a "belt," and sure enough, I came in to see him taping pumpkin down so that it wouldn't move. You couldn't have been more pleased.

I've come home to find the two of you in a makeshift fort, or walking a newly constructed balance beam from boxes, or just laughing together. Adventure, I tell you. Always adventure.

You've gotten more physically daring in the last few months. It's not uncommon to get some bumps and bruises throughout the day, and this week you've flipped off of the ottoman not once but TWICE. You didn't mean to either time, and I learned a valuable lesson that day, that in the seconds it can take me to cross the room to remove you from your newest launching pad, you can become airborne.

At this stage in life, you are fascinated by the alphabet, and you know at least a dozen letters. I think your Grammy sparked your interest in this with her bath letters, and you love seeing the letters you know out in public. I am constantly amazed that you can point to a menu or a shirt or a book and call out the letters there. And words? Oh, my boy, you are a sponge, soaking up new words every day and repeating them back to us. You know the anatomy of a bicycle (seat, pedal, tire, handle), many of your body parts, animals and their sounds, and the difference between nighties, jeans, pants and shorts. And, you are becoming quite effective at verbally communicating what it is that you are asking for or would like to do, which is so fun.

And, while you are a lover of things physical and fun, you are also my sweet little boy. Sometimes, you reach out and say "hand," indicating you want to hold your momma's hand. Sometimes, you want to be held or rocked. Often, you want to sit in my lap and read or gaze up at me, pointing out my eyes, nose, cheeks, neck. I savor those moments so dearly.

I know this is getting long, and I could keep going. I can't wait to see what the coming months hold for you. We love you so very much!

Love,
Mama

Whirlwind week

I think the reality of the last week is finally starting to sink in. I still have a few precious hours of sleep left before my little dude awakens, but my mind is racing, so here I sit, at the computer before 5 a.m. What a week! What a week it's been.

Looking back, Gibster hadn't felt 100% for almost two weeks, but with previous gallbladder issues, or what we thought were gallbladder issues, that wasn't necessarily a new thing. It was new, however, for the pain to increase to such a level that he couldn't leave the couch for two days, and so a CT scan was ordered for him. The result of that scan would send us to the ER just a few hours later for an appendectomy.

My Gibster? That man is a trooper. So brave, so tough, and so much patience for his wife. You know, the member of our spousal unit who didn't have surgery last week. That wife. You see, when you take a woman pregnant in her third trimester, whose parents happen to leave for vacation the very day of the surgery (as of course they could have no clue this would happen), who's thrown into a logistical battle of mother-of-toddler and wife-of-surgery-patient, it turns out that she isn't as patient or as graceful as she hoped she might be.

Ok, Lord, I thought. My husband is in immense pain, with tubes coming out every which way, who can't sleep, whose body is wracked with chills and then sweats, and yet I'm the one crying. What on earth.

My heart was broken for him, and I wanted to spend every hour of the day with him, but the reality was, I couldn't. There were a few days last week when I got to see my husband for a grand total of an hour because, as you might imagine, a 21-month old little fireball of energy and a hospital room full of tempting knobs and tubes are not compatible for more than 15 minutes. What am I supposed to do, I asked God. How in the world does this work? And in His mercy and love, it was as if He sent a bright beam of light down from heaven to highlight our community, and He sent them into action.

A friend sat with me into the wee hours of the morning as I waited for GP to come out of surgery. Friends didn't hesitate to host my toddler for a slumber party along with their kids, or for play dates at the last minute. Countless texts, phone calls and e-mails were sent to check in on us. Friends sent the most beautiful and delicious box of strawberries. My family sent sweet balloons which, while certainly enjoyed by their intended recipient, have also provided hours of entertainment for his son. Gib's family drove down to take turns sleeping in his hospital room and helping out with his recovery. Friends leaving town offered us their amazing house for the weekend, so that we could spread out a little bit and so Gib didn't have to tackle stairs upon his release from the hospital.

And then there's Ben, who actually took two days off from work to go and sit with Gib in the hospital. When I thanked him, words not even coming close to expressing my gratitude, he simply said, "it's what you do."

God's kindness never ceases to amaze me, but in situations like this, He gives me a fresh reminder of who He is. He is Peace, He is Joy, He is Healer God, He is Provider.

The surgeon expressed that, in his opinion, issues with Gib's appendix had been occurring for some time now. With all of our travel lately, even overseas, and with a baby expected in the next two months, God's timing on this was once again so gracious. He knew that my parents, who would normally be the first to swoop in and take Levi to their house, simplifying so many logistics for me while giving their grandson a peaceful and enjoyable environment, would be gone. He knew what a mess I would be.

And, He knew what an amazing community we have and that they would take care of business. He also knew what an amazing husband I have, and that Gib would, even through this physical ordeal, remain the rock of our family.

One of my dear friends, who possesses more wisdom and encouragement than she'll ever know, prayed over me as we waited for Gib to come out of surgery. She prayed the Peace of Jesus, and also reminded me that peace is in fact a Person. Sweet Jesus. I knew at the time that she was right, but I didn't yet realize the impact of choosing to see Him as such. Whether or not I looked to Him as the Prince of Peace didn't change the reality of who He is. But choosing to look for the peace and kindness of God in every situation, every day, changes things. I can't say I learned that lesson in a particularly graceful or immediate manner this week, but God is a pursuer and a lover of my soul. And that lesson has finally begun to sink in.

This is a long post, I realize, but I just want to say thank you. Thank you, friends and family. Thank you, Gib and Levi and little one. Thank you, God.

Imagine.

Imagine.

Imagine the seediness. The dark corners of the bars, illuminated only by the contrasting harsh, fluorescent lighting in blue, pink, red. The heavy beat of the dance music, thumping in the rhythm of a heartbeat yet without any heart behind it at all.

Imagine the leering eyes of passers-by, sizing up each place, and specifically each woman within that place. Men with wedding rings and men without wedding rings but with tan lines that indicate their presence only moments before devour the scantily clad bodies before them with their eyes in a matter of seconds. Old white men, young white men, middle-age Asian men, and even couples of all ages, scouring each establishment to see which meets their criteria. Pretty enough? Young enough? Easy enough? Cheap enough?

Consider the stares, the judgment of those who've come to see this spectacle without any intent to purchase, whose curiosity fuels the lust behind those looks. The clean-cut teenaged boy staying in a hotel just down the block, who probably told his parents he was running to the 7-11 for a coke, can't help but glance inconspicuously, longingly, as he passes by. Except it isn't inconspicuous at all. Only in his mind and in his conscience.

But this isn't just a place of voyeurism. Imagine the feeling in the pit of the stomach when that old, overweight man with the grabby hands actually comes into the establishment. Or maybe it's the handsome younger man with a steely look that conveys his true heartlessness and the determination to get what he wants on demand. Imagine the internal struggle, the agony on the inside masked by the bright, seductive smile on the outside. The smile is automatic now, no longer having to be prompted by the boss to be more friendly, more seductive, more enticing. That lesson was learned the hard way.

Imagine the thoughts that run through the mind throughout the duration of the drinks, or maybe dinner, through the cheap small talk. What comes next is inevitable, and yet the client has to be placated by feigned interest in his life. The dread only grows stronger as the minutes count down, as the last bites are taken. Yet through the dread, the flirtation and the come-hither eyes are second nature now. The deal must be sealed, after all.

Imagine that you were lured to this city, the promise of a job in retail or a restaurant providing enough motivation to leave your village, your refugee camp, your impoverished life. Parental expectations of financial support for survival, and the weight of responsibility for multiple younger siblings, perhaps made these empty promises seem like the only way to make the family proud. But, shortly after arrival, the realization comes that no such job exists. Physical brokenness awaits at the hands of a cruel new boss, and a new reality begins. Someone's property now, with a transportation debt so high and threats against family back home so convincing that escape seems impossible. Maybe it actually is impossible.

Or, maybe it was a willing choice to be here. In the beginning, at least. Maybe entering this lifestyle happened purposefully, with a steady income to be had and the illusion of finding a wealthy man to marry enough of a mirage to look past the stench of the back room that would become a permanent fixture in life. That man of dreams? Sure, many men have come and gone for the past 15 years, but no marriage proposals. Only business transactions, sometimes resulting in a child that would, out of necessity, go to live with its grandparents. The logistics of life in the red light district aren't exactly conducive to child-rearing.

In the end, the circumstances by which this lifestyle was entered are less important than the now. Now is the reality that one's economical value is determined by client after client, night after night, month after month, year after year. That one's self-worth deteriorates each time her body is exploited, taken advantage of. It's a consumer-driven business and her needs, her protection, her dignity, her dreams… well, they don't exactly count. For the price of a fast-food dinner in the States, she is forced to surrender again, and again, and again, and again. No holidays, no sick days, and certainly no vacation or benefits package.

And while the physical aspects of the job are by no means pleasant, just as ugly are the knowing looks from shopkeepers, tourists, religious organizations. Those looks speak volumes. The clients don't make one feel beautiful or loved or valued in any way, but the pariah status speaks directly to the heart. No value in your life. No purpose, no worth, no hope, no future. Unredeemable trash.

Just imagine.

Friends, this bleak reality is exactly that - a reality for millions of women and children around the world. In Thailand, where prostitution is illegal, the country is estimated to have 2.8 million prostitutes, with 800,000 of those being children. Red light districts appear in every major city, and victims there are forced into slavery… or they entered willingly but are now trapped. These women have captured my heart because they have captured the heart of Jesus. They don't know Him, not yet, but He knows them. He's known them from the beginning of time. He loves them. He weeps with them. He has plans for them, purpose and a future for them. There IS hope for their lives.

Even here, in Oklahoma, prostitution exists and yes, even the trafficking of women and children. How can we attune ourselves to the heartbeat of God for these women? Instead of making snap judgements or jumping to conclusions, we can choose to see them as He does… as beautiful, valuable, fragile. Just as He invited us into community with Him, we can reach out and do the same for these women. And in doing so, we can change the world.

Rocking with my kiddos

It's late at night, so late that it's actually the beginning of a new day, when I hear the cries coming from next door. Nothing interrupts my toddler's sleep cycle like hardcore teething. I wait a few minutes to see if he's really awake or just momentarily disturbed, when I realize that the cries are only escalating.

As I roll out of bed, I'm not the least bit irritated, strangely. There aren't many things that could wake me up in the middle of the night with such a peaceful feeling, but this kiddo is one of them. I open the door to see a disoriented little boy, standing in his crib, his arms up.

"Mamaaaaa," he cries. As soon as I pick him up, he points to the rocker in the corner. "Chair," he says. He may have been abruptly awakened from his sleep, but this kid knows what he wants.

I sit down, and we begin to rock. He puts his head on my shoulder, and I can feel the drool already starting to seep through my shirt. If I wasn't certain that teething was the sleep culprit before, I am now.

"Ay yah," he says, indicating he wants me to sing to him. Ay yah is the chorus of his favorite song, and he associates it with singing in general. Sometimes I have to go through the first lines of a few songs before finding one he likes. I know I've arrived there when he stops making the "UH" sound a few bars in.

As I rock and sing, with his little body lying against mine in complete relaxation, I feel my other little baby start to wake up and kick and punch. There we are, the three of us, rocking in the dark.

I'm thankful for countless things in my life, but this moment ushers in a feeling of thankfulness like no other. I realize that in just a few months, I won't be able to rock both of my kids together in such a peaceful environment. Kids. The fact that I am a mom to one precious, fiery little boy is a gift I'm in awe of each and every day, but kids, plural? I never knew that reality could bring so much joy.

It may be 3 a.m., but I couldn't be more thankful to be awake.

Thailand photos

As you might imagine, with all of our photos combined, the number is well into the thousands. Here are a few that encompass many aspects of our trip:

We're HERE!

  

Agape House, an AIDS orphanage:

Gib spent time with this little boy last year, and it was fun for him to see how much this little guy had grown!

We spent two days each way driving through one of the most curvy mountain roads in the world on our way to/from the refugee camp. The first photo is as we are getting ready to leave. The second is a bathroom stop a few hours down the road. Distraction was key to forgetting about the fact that we had several hours ahead of us!

While the drive wasn't exactly enjoyable physically, it afforded us the opportunity to see some of the most beautiful parts of the country:

Halfway through the marathon drive, we surprised the team with elephant rides! 

Refugee camp on the Burmese border:

A child's artistic creation depicting heaven.

Praying over these beautiful children

I spent time with her last year, and it brought so much joy to my heart to see her again!

Praying over a teacher in the area who hadn't been hugged in more than a year. It's not a cultural norm to hug, and our ladies were able to love on her.

Hannah House:

Meal with members of the local church:

On our way to Doi Suthep, a large temple overlooking the city:

One evening, we gave the team a few hours of free time to explore the market. When we walked by them unexpectedly, this is what we found: the group praying for a vendor. 

On our last day in-country, we spent time at this waterfall to reflect on everything we'd experienced:

  

The funny side of travel

We had countless moments of intense laughter over the course of our trip. Some of the situations were just plain funny, while others had lessons to be learned hidden within. We're so thankful to have been with a group of people who weren't afraid to laugh… at themselves, at us, and at the inevitably funny things that happen on overseas trips:

- In the chaos of getting multiple people and multiple bags on a plane, amidst a sea of military personnel traveling somewhere en masse, our bag didn't make it to the counter. That's right - as leaders of a team, our suitcase, full of clothes and toiletries and chargers and shoes, did not travel to Thailand. Instead, it sat in the middle of the airport until some gracious friends of ours drove back to retrieve it. We realized it as soon as we got to Los Angeles. Fortunately, we'd packed some underwear in our carry-ons and had just enough time to make a mad dash to a nearby LA Target to grab some shirts and pants/skirts/shorts that we hoped would fit. Lesson learned: we didn't need as much stuff on this trip as we thought we did! It would have been nice to have had our contacts with us, and not appear in the same shirts in about every photo, but it was actually pretty liberating to travel so simply.

- Another team member forgot a suitcase, as well, but realized it in time for it to arrive prior to take-off. Wow, these early morning flights have a way of wreaking havoc!

- One team member, seated in the Buddhist temple we visited, was having meaningful time with the Lord, praying and worshiping… when the man in front of her broke wind right in her face!

- Two team members fell into rivers (one was bucked off of an elephant)!

- One team member initially thought that a man in the Red Light area was coming to our table to solicit her services, misheard his innocent question about her t-shirt, and emphatically began saying, "NO, NO, NO" to him!

- One team member, after riding for several hours on curvy mountain roads, informed the driver that we needed to pull over. I got the cue and jumped out of her way instantly (I also had the benefit of sitting right next to the door) - the other team members didn't move so quickly and thus were the recipients of her… shall we say… gift of lunch. While certainly not initially pleasant, the group of us, standing on the side of a mountain highway, cleaning off/throwing away clothes, recovering from the shock of the situation, was pretty laughable. And laugh we did!

- One team leader (hint: not me!), when introducing our team to a crowd of about 100 people, went down the line, introducing our team, until he arrived at one team member and proceeded to blank on her name. Ha!

I'm thankful for these moments - I dare say they'll stay captured in our memories just as long as the more poignant stories will.

Thailand recap

My blog timeline can't be right, can it? Has it been more than a month since my last post?! Apparently so. I can hardly believe that October begins in just a few days!

We've spent the last few weeks talking about and reflecting on our time in Thailand and relishing every moment with our little dude. Two weeks away wasn't an eternity by any means, but I missed my little wonder. I think I returned even more thankful for him, although I didn't know that could be possible. We've had to work through a bit of toddler separation anxiety, but as Grammy and Grandy took excellent care of him, we came home to a happy little ball of fire, which is just how we left him.

It just isn't possible to put into words how meaningful and adventurous and fun our time in Thailand was this summer. There are so many stories to tell! And while a brief recap below won't do them justice, it will hopefully convey that this trip was life-changing.

A few of the trip highlights:

- Two ladies on our team ventured out for a shopping trip during a few hours of down time on our second day in-country. Ducking out of the rain, they stepped into the shop of an Indian Muslim man… who used to live in Norman… who does business in Norman… and who wanted to know about Jesus. WHOA. They spent considerable time with him, answering his questions, praying for him, and inviting him to church - because he'll be back here later this fall! This story was so much fun.

- Gib stepped into a woman's house, and the woman's mother excitedly relayed that she had recently had a dream that a group of foreigners came to her house, and that Gib was one of them. How fun is that!

- Two members of our team spent time with a very new believer, who, after realizing that her idols to Buddha in her home needed to go, took down every idol in her house and sent them with the ladies to dispose of.

- An elderly Thai man's arthritic hands were healed after two girls on our team, as well as a translator from the local church, prayed with him and shared the gospel. He was incredulous that he could suddenly bend his hands in ways he previously hadn't been able to and accepted the gospel of Jesus.

- The ladies on our team spent several nights out in the Red Light area of our city, building relationships with sex workers in two different bars. Each night with them allowed us to go deeper with them and just show them love in ways they weren't used to. I hope to do a more in-depth post on this experience. On our last night with them, we had translators from the local church (who were both new believers themselves), who told them about the love of Jesus for them. In one bar, three of the sex workers said they wanted to meet again with their translator to know more. In the second bar, a group of workers asked to go to church, surprised that they would be allowed in such a place.

- Gib and I marveled in the kindness and faithfulness and power of God each and every day. We watched as each member of our team had incredible breakthrough in an individual, and often unexpected, way. Some team members' hearts broke for the refugee children and AIDS orphans; some experienced the power of the Holy Spirit when they were asked to speak with little or no warning; some overcame physical obstacles; some who had never before spoken to a prostitute left with a deep love and compassion for the prostitutes in the city. We experienced a group of nine people functioning as the Body of Christ. It was amazing and unlike anything we'd ever known before. Our faith is stirred. Wow. Thank you, God.

These are just a few of the stories from our trip! I'll do a separate post with lots of photos. Thank you so much to each and every one of you who encouraged us, supported us, prayed for us, rejoiced with us and helped us get to/from Thailand.

Home

At approximately 5 a.m. Saturday morning, U.S. time, we boarded our first flight headed home. On Monday morning at 2 a.m., Gib and I fell into the comfort of our own bed, having returned to the best welcome home party at the airport and a spotless apartment, courtesy of our friends. I already knew that we had the best friends in the world, but they still surprised us with both of these acts.

Monday morning at 10:15 a.m., we arrived at my parents' house to see the smiling face of our boy for the first time in 2.5 weeks. It felt surreal, seeing that smile in person, hearing him say all of the new words he's learned in the last two weeks and actually getting to hold my boy. It was one sweet reunion!

To say that we had a great trip is both true and a huge understatement. We can't wait to share some of the highlights, but for now, we are enjoying time with our little dude and the trip processing process together… and trying to adjust our sleep schedules!

Here's a pic of our team on one of the most beautiful roads in northern Thailand:

Trivia

Question: At our apartment complex, when the temperature outside reaches 110 degrees, the following happens:

A. An angel gets its wings
B. Lauren goes for a jog
C. The air conditioning goes out
D. Gib bursts into song

If you guessed C, you would unfortunately be correct. It's an unending adventure… some of the adventures more pleasant than others! Here's hoping each of you is staying cool in this crazy heat.

Celebration

While Christmas is still several months away, we can already tell you about a very special gift arriving around that time:

This is a proud daddy looking at pictures of our precious little baby! We can't wait to meet him/her, and watch Levi step into the role of big brother. We feel so incredibly blessed!

Away we go… almost!

It's hard to believe that Team Thailand leaves in one week! ONE WEEK!

For anyone interested, we'll be keeping things as updated as possible at our team blog: http://teamthailand2012.blogspot.com/. Prayers appreciated!

Friends are friends forever

Levi is blessed to have lots of friends his age. This is a direct result of his parents being blessed to have some great friends who also had kids around the same time!

This little lady is a gem, like her momma. And, seeing as I plan to be friends with her mom for the rest of my days, I like to think these two will be friends forever.

Yes, they do look a bit hot. Had we not been having a serious, largely attended meeting inside this house, they could have continued their fun in the living room. But, as it were, daddy duty had to take place in the heat. Sorry, kiddos. And dads.

I love this one. It sums up their current age/relationship perfectly.

Cuties.